Skip to main content
Ask the Etiquette Expert

When to Add Milk and Sugar to Your Cup of Tea

By January 29, 2019No Comments

Dear Diane,

I have recently become fascinated with the tradition of tea, in great part because I enjoy reading your Tea Etiquette posts. I’ve collected some vintage tablecloths, ordered some lovely napkins online and asked my friends to consider giving me a special teacup whenever there is an occasion to celebrate. I have several trays from my grandmother who no longer enjoys entertaining, and I am well on my way to hosting a tea party for Valentine’s Day this year.

I have one burning question. I am still confused about when it’s best to add cream to my cup of tea. I would greatly appreciate any direction you can provide.

Sincerely,
Leah G.


Dear Leah,
Everyone has a preference when it comes to preparing the perfect cup of tea. While it boils down to a decision of personal choice, there are those who argue that one way is better than another. I am offering some suggestions as a general guideline, but of course, feel free to sweeten your tea as you wish.

When to add milk and sugar to tea

Some tea is enhanced with a splash of milk (not cream as it masks the taste of the unique brew) or a dash of sugar. Stronger teas, such as black tea, can handle milk while green tea, a more delicate brew, is best served with sugar.

When it comes to southern sweet iced tea, you would not think of adding milk! But chai tea, lattes and bubble teas are delicious served with milk. The Spruce offers an interesting article on milk tea. Even a high-quality dairy substitute will enhance the flavor of some tea.

The best way to determine what should be added to your personal cup of tea is your own taste buds.

Here are a few tea etiquette tips:

Serving

The host selects a special guest to pour the tea – it’s a high honor to be selected. The special guest then holds a tea strainer in her dominant hand to catch the loose leaves while pouring from the teapot in the other hand. She asks if the guest would like her to leave room for milk. Milk is poured into the teacup after the tea is poured (MIL, Milk In Last). A pitcher of hot water should be available for those who prefer a weaker tea.

Stirring

Stir the tea with your teaspoon in an up and down motion, careful not to touch the sides of the cup.

Sipping

Pinkies always stay down when taking a sip of tea. When drinking from a small cup without a handle, hold the cup securely with your thumb and first two fingers (index and middle finger.) Use a small saucer under the handless cup. When using a spoon, place the spoon behind the cup, on the saucer, at the same angle as the handle of the teacup. Use your tea napkin to dap your lips but make sure not to blot your waxy lipstick on the fine linen.

Sitting

When sitting at a low table, in someone’s home or hotel lobby, hold both the cup and saucer and carefully bring the teacup to your mouth to take a sip. Look into the center of your cup, avoiding your eyes to gaze upwards (or you will spill the tea on the front of your shirt or dress.)

Extras

Avoid dunking your tea biscuit in your teacup (a tea biscuit is a shortbread cookie or sweet cracker). Chew and swallow your food before taking a sip of tea. Never graze directly from the tea table or go through a buffet line holding your cup of tea.

Enjoy,
Diane

Diane Gottsman

Author Diane Gottsman

More posts by Diane Gottsman