"If you think business and manners don’t mix, try talking with your mouth full.” - Diane Gottsman, Modern Manners & Etiquette Expert, Author, Media Resource

How to Thrive in the World of Online Dating

February 16th, 2017 by

Dear Diane,

I am 23, recently out of a two year relationship and looking to put myself back out there. I am head first into my career and don’t have time to go meet someone. Everyone keeps talking to me about online dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Match, but I have no idea how to navigate and succeed on these platforms. Any advice?



Dear Nicole,

Opening your heart back up again is admirable. Many generations are turning to these apps (not just millennials) which have opened a whole new world, and potential opportunity of meeting a suitable date or mate. Navigating the waters of online dating can be a bit daunting, but the first and foremost rule of thumb is to remember to be yourself.

Follow these six tips to optimize your chance of, not only finding a true partner, but receiving a “swipe right”.

Be transparent. When writing your “About Me” section, be honest. Include your real age, hobbies and what kind of mate you are looking for. If you are a busy young executive, you may want to mention how your job is very important to you and time is precious, but limited. This may help match you up with other like-minded and career driven people.

Use a current picture. Profile pictures are your first shot at a good impression. Post an accurate photo, not older than 6 months, and one by yourself. It might be hard for potential matches to decipher which person is you if you are standing among several people. Try uploading one of you enjoying a hobby or something eye catching from a recent vacation.

Initiate conversation. Some apps, like Bumble, put the ball in the woman’s court. You have 24 hours to message your match before they go back into the dating pool. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he enjoys doing in his spare time, or compliment the profile picture with his cute dog. It lets him know you pay attention to details and are interested in getting to know more.

Meet in person. Pick a place that is friendly, public and allows you to feel comfortable. You can’t really get to know someone during a movie or in a crowded bar so opt for a place that you can talk with ease. Make it simple and grab a coffee or frozen yogurt. If it goes well, show your interest by suggesting a follow up. If the date was not a fit, be polite and genuine. It’s not necessary to go into too much detail.

Keep an open mind. You may be tempted to look over someone because they don’t seem to fit the perfect image you had in mind. Maybe he is very attractive but he has different interests, or he doesn’t fit your life long profile of what a mate should look like. Sometimes the one you are hesitant to give a chance may just surprise you.

Good Luck,

For more tips on finding the right match for you, read my article Dating Etiquette: Relationship Deal Breakers.

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Categories: Ask the Etiquette Expert