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Ask the Etiquette Expert

Accepting Criticism

By December 15, 2016No Comments

Dear Diane,

I recently started working for a company that offers an extensive training program. During the training, we were given feedback from superiors. I understand how constructive criticism is intended to help, but I feel like my boss can be extra harsh. How do I handle this so early in the game?

Sincerely,
T.G.



Dear T.G.,

Training can feel both tedious and overwhelming, especially when constant reviews of your progress comes into play. But remember that feedback, both positive and negative, is an essential part of career growth. However, without mental preparedness, constructive criticism may not always be well received.

Clearly, having your work routinely dissected and torn apart is not comfortable, especially when it implies you aren’t meeting expectations. It can feel as if someone is poking a hole in your professional armor.

In reality, honest feedback from a trusted source is as a powerful learning tool. When you set aside personal feelings, it can be a valuable opportunity to demonstrate professionalism under tense circumstances.

Here are 6 ways to benefit from constructive criticism.

1. Control your reaction.

Often the first response is to get emotional. Before your meeting, take a moment to maintain composure consciously. Resist the urge to reply with a fight-or-flight response impulsively. Listen thoughtfully with an open mind.

2. Be aware that your responses can be a launchpad to success.

Supervisors notice how an employee accepts unfavorable feedback. Creating a reputation that demonstrates maturity and self-control by willingly accepting advice is instrumental. If an employee doesn’t take criticism well, they’ll most likely be marked as being difficult to work with and have a tough time advancing their career.

3. Eliminate deprecating thoughts.

Negative thinking such as, “my boss has it in for me” or “she’s just jealous” is counterproductive. Remember you’re both on the same team, working for the same company, and upholding the same mission. Most managers don’t relish the thought of delivering harsh critiques to employees. Assume their interest is to achieve common goals better because they are invested in your success.

4. Look for the lesson.

It’s easy to dismiss something that you don’t want to hear by questioning the motives of authority. Regardless of whether they gave feedback thoughtfully or unpleasantly, give it some consideration. We can easily be blind to our limitations, and an unbiased opinion can certainly be valuable.

5. Get the information needed to move forward.

Show a genuine interest in the feedback. Ask for examples of the performance issue. Acknowledge the problem and the need for improvement. Ask for exact steps to take for progression. Later, follow up to demonstrate the headway made on becoming a better executive.

6. Show appreciation.

Thank your supervisor for their candid input. Look them in the eyes and acknowledge that they took the time to evaluate your work.

Best of luck,
Diane

Diane Gottsman

Author Diane Gottsman

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